Category: Joke Board
With a title like that who can go wrong.
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ALL KINDS OF SEX..........
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting
yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have
an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him
off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment .. Killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured
that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly."
Block quote end
LOLOL Bob, these are good.
Hahahaha, these are good. I especially liked the wedding anniversary one.
I thought there were only three kinds of sex...
House Sex: when love is new and you do it in every room and in every possible position.
Bedroom Sex: When you are married, your sexlife loses its spontaneity and is restricted to the bedroom and only one or two positions.
Hall Sex: After many years of marriage, when you're slleping in separate rooms. In the dark you crash into each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU" and your spouse replies "FUCK YOU TOO"!
Happy St. Valentine's Day to you all!
lol the hall one was cute.
lol bob